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| Yep. That's my Meg. Wearing my scarf as a turban. :) |
"Remember where we are now.
Open your eyes,
& take it all in.
Remember where we are now.
This is where your life begins."
When you're at a Celebration of Life for one of your closest friends, a lot goes through your mind. Mostly, memories.
"Remember when she talked me out of trapping the Signal Mountain team in the stairwell at state?"
There was a table, that had tons of stuff from her room on it. A poster of Audrey Hepburn, Chick-fil-a cups, Starbucks cups, her leopard print trench coat, her Aldo heels....Silver sparkly TOMS that matched both mine and Viv's. Mine were $12 knock-offs, of course. I loved hers, and of course I had to be just like my Meg. I walked by it 4 or 5 times with Viv and Seth, just...Taking in all that was Meaghan. Scarves, boots, heels, and Hepburn. We were going to have Breakfast at Tiffany's on 5th Ave when we went to NYC in October. Just like in the movies.
"Remember when we made that crazy dance-rave video at 4 a.m. at the Marriott?"
After everyone had mulled around for a while, the service started. First off, we sang. "I Can Only Imagine." And I. Lost it. Have you ever cried so hard you couldn't breathe? That your entire body shakes violently with every sob, and you have to hold on to something, anything, to keep from ending up in the floor with your skirt over your head?
I do now.
It took both Vivian and Amanda to hold me up. I just...lost it. I broke down. After 5 days of pushing it to the back of my mind, trying to make myself believe that it wasn't real, that it was all just some sick joke, or a really bad dream...Every emotion I had been suppressing over those five days, and the past 4 years of my life, just came pouring through all at once.
And I couldn't control it. Me. For once in my life, my emotions controlled me. And you know what? That's okay. Everyone has to let go once and a while. And I did. I cried for 8 minutes straight. And it felt amazing.
After the songs were all over, I got it together. No more gut-wrenching sobs, just silent tears. And thats okay too. I let them fall. I let them fall through the service, through the prayer. I clenched onto Viv's arm and we cried together. No one should have to cry alone.
And then came Josh.
"Remember when she sang "My Fair Lady" with us in the conference room?"
Meaghan's oldest brother came onto the stage, and he gave his speech. But first, he read us a letter. A letter from our coach, Scott, who was currently stuck in the middle of the Caribbean. And it was beautiful. I don't remember a lot of it, just that he missed her more than she knew. And he and Michelle were both so sorry that they couldn't be there. "...The tears are flowing freely now, and I fear that they will never stop. We love you Meg."
As were mine, Scott, as were mine.
Then Josh gave his speech. He talked about how Meg would always beat him up when they were little. "...She had this tactic, you know. When ever she wanted to fight, she would fall back on her back and kick the living daylights outta me! She fought dirty...I never could bring myself to tell the world that my little sister beat me up!" He talked about her love for her family, her love for her friends, her love for God. "She was a student first. To some of you she was Meg, the crazy redhead who wasn't afraid of anything. To others, she was a daughter, a granddaughter. Some, she was a best friend." And then he looked over to me, Hannah, Steph, Abby, Amanda, and Viv. "And to you guys, she was 'Mommy'. And she loved you guys. More than you can imagine." We all lost it here. For those of you who don't know, allow me to explain.
Meg was our rock, in Mock Trial. She was so much more than a coach. She was your best friend, and your worst enemy. You did NOT want to cross this redhead. She did our hair, taught us not only how to give an opening and make your cross witness cry, but she taught you about life too. How to walk in 4" Loubioutins, what color lipstick you should wear, and the best way to get downtown when you get lost and try to drive to Bryan College instead of regional competition. She always used to joke that we were her adoptive daughters, and she was our "Mommy". And let me tell you. We loved our Mommy.
Part Three is coming soon. Promise.
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