Who I am… That’s a question everyone ask, whether over a period of time and constant battering of questions or writing a “Get to know You” essay at the beginning of each school year.
After answering it a countless number of time, I still don’t know the answer.
Maybe that’s because as each second goes by, the answer changes. My like, my dislikes, my mood, they can all change at the blink of an eye. So there really is no direct answer.
I suppose I’ll just start at the beginning.
All my life, I have never been much of a people person. I liked being alone. I had been hoping to change that by going to school. That was three years ago. Although now I have developed better social skills and have learned to deal with people, I still do not feel the need for human companionship. Other than the occasional mild case of Cabin Fever, I am perfectly fine staying at home.
I first attended school my 6th grade year, right when “those magical changes” of becoming a teenager was right around the corner. I figured at that point, it was rather a “now or never” kind of deal. My first day, something so plain and simple stood out to me: I was different. Extremely different from all the other kids. Although, four years at three different schools taught me one thing, if nothing else: being different may be viewed as a bad thing by your peers when your only in middle/high school, but as you live your life, why would you want to simply be another cookie-cut airhead that we see so many of on an everyday basis?
My 8th grade year wasn’t one of my best. I played volleyball, my best friend of nine years joined me at SBA, and I was happy. For a while, at least. By the time Christmas Break rolled around, I had began to see the schematics of the social scale. And I wanted to be on top. I suppose it was being co-captain of the volleyball team that gave me my power-happy big head, but that’s what I wanted at the time, and so I set out to get it. I sacrificed friendship after friendship to get there, and when I was the right hand of the most popular girl at school, I stopped my warpath and looked behind me. Then I saw the destruction that I left in my wake. I was mortified. To I spent the majority of the summer before my freshman year fixing everything that I had destroyed.
Which leads me to my 9th grade year. I was a cheerleader and I had fixed my relationship with my best friend. I had the upperclassmen (mostly juniors) and her, which was all I needed. I can honestly say that my freshman year was my best year in school. I had a high GPA, a boyfriend the majority of the time (also always an upperclassman), and a best friend to boogie at all the dances with. Things we’re perfect, until it all came tumbling down. My best friend moved, I crushed my crush’s heart right after prom, and spent the following summer in solitude.
Now I’m rounding 3rd, at the end of my sophomore year. Its been a trying a testing year. Some of the highlights have been Mock Trial and the amazing people who influenced my life there. Learning more than most 1st law year students do in the period of 6 weeks. Homeschool prom was by far my best memory this year. I wouldn’t trade that night for anything! Except maybe having my best friend back. I do miss her, more than you know. Its like an ache in my heart that will never leave me be. Lastly, I captained a my volleyball team, the Patriots. We kick major ass, may I just say. I love all my girls. As this year comes to a close, I find myself no wiser, yet a year older. And I like it like that.
Phew. Now that that’s over….
I have many likes and dislike. It would take a long time to list them all, so I will refrain from boring you and causing my fingers to want to fall off from typing much more.
Wow. You really made it all the way to here? Without taking a break? No? Didn’t think so.
~Elle~
