Yes, I'd Like to Exchange My Self-Hate for Some Love?

Has anyone other than me noticed how of late, most of the songs you hear are targeted at people who are unhappy with themselves?

So in other words, everybody?

I am serious, songs like "Perfect" by P!ink, "Who Says" by Selena Gomez, just to name a few, all talk about how its okay to be the outsider and not to care about what other people think about you.

Though it makes me wonder, what caused this sudden uprising in Hollywood? What suddenly made big stars like that care about the little people? I know P!nk has always written about being true to yourself, but Gomez? I think hers spawns mostly from the Demi Lovato fiasco. But I wont get into that, its none of my business.

Thinking about things like this makes you realize, "I'm not the only one. I'm not the only one who feels like I don't deserve to feel pretty. I don't deserve to feel happy. I don't deserve to live." EVERYONE feels that way at one point or another. Its perfectly normal to feel self hate. But just because you feel it, doesn't mean you have to act upon it.

Last night, for the first time in a while, I sat down and sketched out a face. Nathan Fillion, back from his Firefly years. (Yes, I am in love with him. No, we will not discuss my unhealthy obsession I have with him now.) I drew it at about 2 a.m., and when I was done, I felt very proud of my work.

The next morning, my mom came in and saw it. She immediately started talking about how wonderful it was, and that I could too draw faces (I've always said I couldn't).

So naturally, I said what I always say.

"What are you talking about? It's awful!"

And then I proceeded to explain why.

The shading is all wrong, there's uneven blotches everywhere, his hair was all wrong, the shadows aren't even, blah blah blah.

By the time I had to stop and catch my breath, I had myself convinced. I suck. I can't draw, I can't paint, I can't do anything right.

But I hadn't convinced my mom.

She still said it was amazing, and how proud of me she was.

Then it hit me.

WHY do we constantly hate on ourselves? WHY???? It's pointless. Our own opinions are prejudice against us, so we shouldn't rely on them. We should rely on the opinion of someone whom we trust to tell us the truth, no matter how brutal.

We constantly put ourselves down, and bully ourselves. Call ourselves stupid. Linger on the mistakes we made 5 years ago, and still kick ourselves about. It's pointless, because we cant change the past. We can;t change who we are. We can grow into better versions of ourselves, but we can't erase our very essence of being who we are. Yes, we can hate.

But wouldn't it be a lot easier to love?