Then I spent a good chunk of time thinking about the past.
Past relationships, past friendships.
Just the past in general, and how much I’ve grown mentally and emotionally over the course of the year. The end of school and the initiation of summer is like New Years Eve for teenagers and college kids. But of course that comes with exam week, but hey, I like all the stress. It’s like the worlds biggest adrenalin rush for people like me!
What was I talking about?
Oh yes, the past.
Over the course of this year, I’ve lost friends, and made some that I hope to keep throughout the remainder of my life. My mock trial-ers, Hilger friends, and random guys I meet in Starbucks or Panera. These people reflect me, and who I want to become in the future.
I’ve mended quite a few bridges, and for that I am very grateful. Especially to my ex-husband (wink wink). I love how we can not speak for over 7 months, and go right back to our old friendship just like that. To calling each other by our old pet names, and talking about life as though we have it all figured out. Staying up until 4 a.m. watching Glee together and painting. No, the past has shown how we can never be romantically involved, but I consider Jake to be one of my best friends. (And there’s only two of those positions open, one male, one female. So kudos if you’re one of them.)
I’ve also burned a few bridges, this time for the better. People who were a bad influence on me, and when I have to choose who is going to be a better friend to me in the long run, I have to choose the one whose going to pick me up and brush me off, and then fall tumbling back down with me, not the one whose going to leave me lying there and walk all over me. Which is a life lesson for us all.
As I sit here in my Paris sweatshirt from Epcot in the middle of May (yeah, and global warming “isn’t real”. HA!) I’m staring out my window at my little grey fluffy ball of fat. Little Man, my precious kitty, is chasing a bright blue butterfly. Its so cute. He’s been at it for about 15 minutes now, and he still hasn’t caught it. But he never gives up. He gets so close, but it always manages to get away. Much like our future. You think you’ve got it all figured out, and then suddenly, something drastic changes everything that you planned.
For me, I got a job. I work more than 50 hours a week, and still manage to do schoolwork and study for the ACT. I find free time, even. I captain a volleyball team. But then…something big happens. You get that news that you’d been waiting for. That amazingly wonderful SPECTACULAR news, that you’d been putting your life on hold for, until you thought it was hopeless and you pressed play. Then it happened. You got the spotlight, and the play is yours. You’re ready to own the stage.
Now you just have to hope and pray that you’re understudy doesn’t try and poison you and take it all away.
Enough with the metaphors. I cant tell you the news yet, but it is BIG. NYC BIG. My dreams finally coming true colossally huge!
You’ll get to hear about it as soon as its confirmed. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
P.S. The room makeovers are complete! -ish. Check the page to your right.
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